


Body Disposal

by Forever_Sweet



Series: A Lot To Talk About [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Except Stan., I swear everyone in this fic is either a murderer or directly involved in a murder., Minor Character Death, Profanity, So minor that it is not actually mentioned in the fic., The twins are like 15-16 here., murder fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5213288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Sweet/pseuds/Forever_Sweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is blood everywhere, Pine Tree probably killed a cockatiel in his youth, and the phrase popping one’s murder cherry is thrown out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Body Disposal

“Bill! The bag’s starting to leak and I’m getting blood all over my sweater!”

“You can change it once we get back to the Mystery Shack, Star!” 

“Change me ends!”

“No! I’m not getting blood all over my suit.” Bill groaned in annoyance as Mabel dropped her end of the body and crossed her arms.

“Why does it matter now? You already have blood all over your sweater!”

“Hey, if I’m going to be miserable and bloody, then so are you.” The two of them held a glaring contest for a full two minutes before Bill growled and stomped over to Mabel. Getting in her face he tried to be intimidating, but that was hard since his human body was several inches shorter.

“Shooting Star, we don’t have the time for this! Your brother and Grunkle are going to be back in the shack at any second and we need to get this body stashed before then!” 

“That’s not my problem. I just have to play innocent or say that you threatened me into helping you move the body. I’m the innocent one, remember?” Bill wanted to scratch his eyes out, but she did have a point and they were wasting time.

“Fine!” He gave in and picked up the leaking part of the body bag; Mabel happily skipping around to the other side and grabbed it.

“Why again did we just kill the Dummy?” Bill bumped the shack door open with his hip and almost tripped over the rug. 

“He tried to kill Dipper twice this week and I don’t care if he says he has it under control. When we have a morally corrupt demon living under our roof and eating our food, he should help once in a while!”

Once they were inside the gift shop they laid out the body bag and caught their breath. 

“I’m going to go check out the rest of the Mystery Shack and make sure nobody is home. You stay here and guard the body.”

“I don’t think the Dummy is coming back as a zombie, Shooting Star.”

“Can never be too careful…” Mabel disappeared through the Employee’s Only door and Bill dragged the body behind the counter.

Then the gift shop door jingled and laughter floated in to fill the space. Bill hit his head on the underside of the counter and his curse stopped all conversation in its tracks.

“Bill?” Footsteps approached the counter and with no alternative the demon popped up with a wide smile.

“Pine Tree! Stan! What are you two doing home so early?”

“Uh, it’s almost midnight, Bill. What were you doing behind the counter just now?” 

Dipper tried to lean over the counter and get a look behind it, but Bill scooted in front of them until their noses were touching. It had the desired effect of Dipper backing up a few feet.

“I was napping!”

“On the floor?”

“Sure! It really does wonders for your back, you should try it sometime, Pine Tree!” Dipper and Stan gave each other a look, but nobody made a move to see behind the counter again. Bill figured he was in the clear until Mabel walked into the room while putting gloves on.

“So, Bill what do you want to do about the bo-”

“TTLES OF SODA! GET SOME ICE AND CRACK A COUPLE OPEN FOR YOUR FAMILY, SHOOTING STAR!” Bill steam-rolled over Mabel’s question and the teenager in question looked up in confusion. Then she paled when she saw her family and tried to hide her glove covered hands behind her back.

“Dipper! Grunkle Stan! You two sure are home early!”

“Mabel, it’s almost midnight. What happened to your sweater!?” Dipper’s eyes widened when he noticed the blood covering the front of Mabel’s sweater. The notice made Bill subtly move his suit jacket to cover the blood on his dress shirt. 

“What? This?! It-it’s just jam! I knocked a bottle off the table and I just finished cleaning it up!” Mabel giggled nervously and showed her gloves off to confirm her story. Dipper looked suspicious, but Stan just guffawed loudly and smacked Mabel on the back as he passed her.

“Make sure to get all the glass cleaned up, Sweetie. Don’t want to be responsible for your old grunkle cutting up his feet, do you?”

“Nope! Do not want that at all! Not at all!” Mabel giggled nervously again and Stan gave her a raised eyebrow before retreating to his room.

Mabel and Bill looked at Dipper expectantly, but he didn’t move.

“What?”

“You must be tired after such a long day!”

“Naw, thought I’d hang out with you two. Do some bonding and all that jazz.”

“Pine Tree, we’re all bonded out this evening!”

“Right, from doing what? Murdering someone?” Dipper laughed briefly, but stopped when he saw the identical pale faces staring back at him.

“Oh god, please tell me you didn’t actually murder someone…”

“It was Shooting Star’s idea!”

“BILL! WAY TO THROW ME UNDER THE BUS!”

“MABEL!?”

“DIPPER!”

“BILL!” Both twins glared at Bill until the demon shrunk down behind the counter.

“What were you thinking, Mabel?!”

“I just wanted to keep you safe, Dipper!”

“You two look like you have your hands full, so I’m going to go and-”

“Bill you better sit your ass down right now!” Bill stopped half-way between standing up and sat back down behind the counter. Once he was out of the way the twins went back to fighting.

“I can’t believe you actually went out and killed someone!”

“It’s not like it was a big deal! It was just Gideon!”

“MABEL! I told you I could take care of myself and since when was it okay to kill anyone?!” 

“When you started letting a demon stay here!”

“I would like to interject my statement that before this I hadn’t actually killed anyone.” 

“What, seriously!?” Both twins had whipped around to face Bill in shock, the demon slipping further behind the counter until only his eyes and up were visible.

“It wasn’t really necessary before this…”

“So, I helped you pop your murder cherry!”

“MABEL DON’T USE THAT TERM LIKE THAT!”

“As much as watching you two bicker is fun, we still have a dead body to dispose of before Stan sees it!” Bill interjected between the fighting, Mabel stopped to think and Dipper looked incredulous.

“You two didn’t think of a place to hide the body before you murdered someone?!”

“It’s not like this was premeditated like you with thw cockatiel, Pine Tree.”

“YOU KILLED PUGGY!?”

“NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!”

“KIDS! STOP YER SCREAMING I CAN HEAR YOU FROM MY ROOM!” Everyone in the gift shop froze and nobody so much as breathed for several minutes until they were sure Stan wasn’t going to come in. 

Bill gestured erratically to the body and then to the floor boards. Dipper shook his head so hard it looked like it was going to fly off. Then he pointed outside and widened his stance to look firm.

Mabel gave an over exaggerated sigh and gestured to Dipper to help them with the body. He started to shake his head, but Mabel punched him in the shoulder before he could refuse. Mouthing a complaint of pain he walked behind the counter and helped the other two lift the body.

He almost dropped his share of the weight though when he felt cold blood start to seep through the bag and into his shirt. Biting his lip he held in his noises of disgust until they were outside.

“Ew…” Shuddering Dipper took off his ruined shirt and threw it aside. While he busied himself with thinking of a place to dispose of the body, he missed Bill’s ogling and Mabel slapping him on the shoulder. 

“We could bury him?”

“Pine Tree, we’d end up running into the hundreds of bodies that are already buried here if we tried that.” Both twins looked at Bill horrified as he tapped his foot against the ground.

“Can’t you just burn it?”

“Pine Tree, I don’t have any power outside the mindscape.”

“Well, fuck, Bill! At least I’m trying to throw out some suggestions!”

“I like the burning idea. I’ll go get my matches and gasoline from our room!” Mabel excitedly ran back inside the shack as Dipper gave Bill an incredulous look.

“What? She likes to burn things.”


End file.
